Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Glamorous (Nonalcoholic) Drinking

Sometimes I want to be like Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, decked out in Givenchy, throwing wild parties (and singing “Moon River” on my fire escape) and holding a glass of champagne while trying to chat up someone with a name like Rusty Trawler.

Of course, the reality is that 1.) smoking cigarettes (like in the picture), even on long elegant cigarette holders is terrible for everyone’s health, 2.) wild parties sometimes end with cops being called, as the guests often find out, and 3.) drinking alcohol is certainly a huge no-no for someone who has porphyria.

Still, I like to hold wine glasses.

So, why not be luxe and still invest in those nice glasses, even if you can’t drink the wine? My favorite non-caffeinated drink is usually pure cranberry juice cut with seltzer water. It sparkles brightly, and it leaves me feeling pure and happy. Glamor, like so many things, is a cultural phenomenon constructed from objects and feelings; why not transfer those objects and feelings to a nonalcoholic world where no one ends up dead or in the hospital?

Do yourself a favor: scour or or just check Google. Look for nonalcoholic beverages. Or experiment in the kitchen. Invest in sparkling water (or even a machine that carbonates water for you), and live a life that's full of health. And in the credits to the movie adaptation of your life, thank me! I'll be the one in the audience, sipping lemonade from a goblet.

--Miranda Dennis

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