Self-esteem:
4 steps to feel better about yourself
I know that having Porphyria can be very difficult at times but when I read this over it really made me think about how I view things and how I can change them. Once you put them into practice I know you will feel better about yourself but your life to. Enjoy:)
If you have low
self-esteem, harness the power of your own thoughts and beliefs to change how
you feel about yourself. Start with these four steps to a healthier
self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can
negatively affect virtually every facet of your life, including your
relationships, your job and your health. But you can take steps to boost your
self-esteem, even if you've been harboring a poor opinion of yourself since
childhood. Start with these four steps.
Step 1: Identify
troubling conditions or situations
Think about the
conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Common triggers
might include:
·
A business
presentation
·
A crisis at work or
home
·
A challenge with a
spouse, loved one, co-worker or other close contact
·
A change in life
circumstances, such as a job loss or a child leaving home
Step 2: Become aware
of thoughts and beliefs
Once you've identified
troubling conditions or situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them.
This includes your self-talk — what you tell yourself — and your interpretation
of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive,
negative or neutral. They might be rational, based on reason or facts, or
irrational, based on false ideas.
Step 3: Challenge
negative or inaccurate thinking
Your initial thoughts
might not be the only possible way to view a situation — so test the accuracy
of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and
logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible.
Be aware that it's
sometimes tough to recognize inaccuracies in thinking, though. Most people have
automatic, long-standing ways of thinking about their lives and themselves.
These long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel normal and factual, but many are
actually just opinions or perceptions.
Also pay attention to
thought patterns that tend to erode self-esteem:
·
All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example,
"If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure."
·
Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view
of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report
and now everyone will realize I'm not up to this job."
·
Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other
positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I
only did well on that test because it was so easy."
·
Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little
or no evidence supports it. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my
email, so I must have done something to make her angry."
·
Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example,
"I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure."
·
Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use
self-deprecating humor. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such
as making a mistake. For example, "I don't deserve anything better."
Step 4: Adjust your
thoughts and beliefs
Now replace negative
or inaccurate thoughts with accurate, constructive thoughts. Try these
strategies:
·
Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Pessimism can
be a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, if you think your presentation
isn't going to go well, you might indeed stumble through it. Try telling
yourself things such as, "Even though it's tough, I can handle this
situation."
·
Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes — and mistakes aren't permanent
reflections on you as a person. They're isolated moments in time. Tell
yourself, "I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."
·
Avoid 'should' and 'must' statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of
these words, you might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on
others. Removing these words from your thoughts can lead to more realistic
expectations.
·
Focus on the positive. Think about the good parts of your life. Remind yourself of
things that have gone well recently. Consider the skills you've used to cope
with challenging situations.
·
Relabel upsetting thoughts. You don't need to react negatively to negative thoughts.
Instead, think of negative thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns.
Ask yourself, "What can I think and do to make this less stressful?"
·
Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example,
"My presentation might not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked
questions and remained engaged — which means that I accomplished my goal."
These steps might seem
awkward at first, but they'll get easier with practice. As you begin to
recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are contributing to your low
self-esteem, you can actively counter them — which will help you accept your
value as a person. As your self-esteem increases, your confidence and sense of
well-being are likely to soar.
